the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i dont even know how to be here
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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