Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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