he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
