babies were throwing up all over the place
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
