his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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