so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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