I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize