I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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