and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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