i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
