just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
