and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
