Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
