So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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