She announced her abortion via fbk
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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