It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
