also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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