This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
