This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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