3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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