I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
