Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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