I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
