her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
