Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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