i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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