apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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