can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
