I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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