If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
