You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
