i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
