You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
These tits shall not be calmed
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
