Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
