I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
