is your mom at the bar?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
