I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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