i came on her dog
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
