is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
