im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
