Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
