I bet he comes in French.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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