Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
