You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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