9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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