It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
