she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
