There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Actions speak louder than pants.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
