youre lurking in front of me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
