If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize