I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
