who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
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