so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
