I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
