Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
