Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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