You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
