i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
