you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The air was thick with penises
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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